Here are six comments that discourage involvement and SIX positive alternatives to use instead.
No ministry leader would purposely turn away an eager volunteer. But sometimes the most innocent of comments can have that result. When you are busy planning for six activities, behind on a deadline, and hurrying home after a meeting, the last thing you want to do is listen to a new idea or walk through how a new member can get involved.
Those conversations take so much time. But that is pretty much what you need to do if your ministry is going to thrive in the future though.
To help your group change its habits, I have collected six common lines guaranteed to kill the enthusiasm of even the most enthusiastic newbie, along with what you should say instead.
“We will have someone call you.”
We all know what this really is. It is a complete brush off. Be careful about using “we” as a generalization, too. It depersonalizes the statement so no one is accountable.
A better way to end the conversation is “do you want to talk to Joe about that? Here is his phone number.” Or, set up an appointment to call ot meet with the person.
By opening a line of communication, where your volunteer can have his questions answered, you encourage the volunteer.
“We tried that already” or “That won’t work.”
No one wants to repeat mistakes, but sometimes ideas that failed before can be successful with new people or a new situation.
Instead, respond with “we had a bad experience once with a similar idea. Maybe it is time to reconsider and take in your approach. Would you please detail your idea and how you would implement it?”
Allowing your enthusiastic team member to detail their idea and formulate it into a plan let’s them know their input is valued and appreciated.
They may discover for themselves why it won’t work, or they may discover exactly what needs to be done to make it work.
Their detailed plan will also allow you to discuss it with them without appearing dismissive.
“We have always done it this way.”
Just because your ministry has settled into a comfortable pattern, that does not mean it is perfect. Change is hard, it is disruptive, and it takes time. It can also energize of the group.
A better response would be, “we are so used to doing things a certain way, it is hard to consider changing it. Can you explain how your new idea might improve the ministry?”
Again, by listening to the idea rather than just quickly dismissing it, you make your team members feel valued and this will encourage them to present ideas in the future. Ideas that just might be invaluable to your ministry’s growth and success.
“That committee is full.”
Rather than cut off the volunteer, find a better place or his or her skill. Try this line next time, “I think there are already enough volunteers for the amount of work in that committee. But we could certainly use help in this area. would that interest you? We would love to benefit from your talent.”
My family once belonged to a church for five years. Although we were active in a traveling children’s ministry and prison ministry, our church never had anyway w could help.
We asked, again and again, to be involved with the children’s ministry, with cleaning the church, with maintenance, (I have carpentry experience), but the pastor never found a way for us to serve in the local church. Every need was met by other members. For the 5 years we were there, we always felt like outsiders.
We have belonged to other churches where from day one we were asked to participate in one way or another. If someone wants to help, find a way to involve them.
“Call if you have questions.”
You might as well finish the sentence, “ because this is all the training you are going to get.”
You might intend it as a sincere offer to provide help without micromanaging, it can also sound like a dismissal.
Try closing the conversation with” I will give you a couple of days to look over the material and then I will check in to see how it is going. In the meantime, here is my phone number and email address if you have questions.”
“Run all decisions by me”
Why does every little decision have to be run by the pastor or children’s minister? That is what a committee or a delegated volunteer is for.
Make sure your volunteers know the mission and know what decisions they can and cannot make. Let them take ownership of the project. Your volunteers develop a sense of pride in their accomplishment, and a sense of responsibility for the project or program.
This will build better leaders and better children’s ministry.
Our words and statements send a message. They do not always send the message we wish to send, so it is important to consider how your words will be received.
Remember volunteers are just that. They are giving of their time, and finances, to help your ministry be a success and to reach children for Christ.
Be an encourager, not a discourager.
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